How to Set Goals and Stick With Them to Develop a Life You Love
Happy New Year!
Yea, it’s cliche, but we all know January is a time focused on intentions and goal setting. I’m writing this over a week into the new year because it’s possible that whatever goals or intentions you’ve set for the year are already falling by the wayside and you’re beginning to feel discouraged. Or maybe you feel like goals have never been your thing, you’d rather freestyle it. Or you’re all good, you’re on a roll and kicking ass with your 2022 intentions.
I still invite you to continue reading and do the exercises in this post. It will help you develop more clarity around the why for your goals which helps you form a deeper connection with them and motivation to follow through.
*NOTE - You can set goals and intentions ANYTIME OF YEAR, not just January!
I’ve also created a podcast episode around this topic, you can listen along below.
Now, grab a journal, pull up a digital calendar and let’s get started…
Step #1: Ideal Day Exercise
Envision how you want your life to look this time next year. This day is “ideal” right now, but we’re envisioning it as a normal day in your future. Journal on the below…
How do you look?
How do you feel emotionally?
How do you feel physically?
Where do you live?
Who are you with?
What are you doing throughout your day?
You’re really stepping into the energy of what this next year version of you feels like in every way. Write down every little thing that comes to you, every detail.
A year is a good span of time because it allows for a lot of change and growth. But, if you’re anything like me, lots of things you’re envisioning may feel WAY out of reach within just one year. That’s ok! Dream big and write it ALL down. This vision is your WHY, you can remind yourself of this when things get challenging.
*NOTE - If you have major things happening within the year, you may want to divide it into sections. My wedding is in June so I’m focusing on that as my ideal day because it’s very significant for me and I want to be my best self for it. Then I’ll redo this exercise at the end of June for the year ahead.
Step #2: Determine Your Primary Goal
It’s extremely likely that your ideal day includes major shifts in many areas of your life, like health and wellness, relationships, career etc. Often we make the mistake of creating BIG goals in all of these areas. But, when we have big goals in multiple areas, it can feel like our life is full of competing priorities. Rather, you’ll set a primary goal in one area that will require the most significant commitment from you, and then smaller goals in the other areas.
Does it make sense to choose a goal that feels far away?
For example: My vision typically involves significant growth in my business and how many people I’m working with and helping, which means I can afford a bigger, nicer apartment. I would LOVE for a change like that to be possible within a year, and it may be! But it may not be. Either way is fine!
Choose the goal that is most important for you to see big progress towards (which in the above example is the growth of the business) even if you don’t make it all the way there within the year. You have to start somewhere. If you don’t get started you’ll never get there!
Some examples of primary goals may be…
Help more people and grow my business to making $XX this year
Find a new job within my current field
Reconnect deeply with my partner
Meet someone new
Feel more confident in my body
Regain my energy and clarity
Get pregnant
What is you primary goal?
It’s the piece of the puzzle that makes your ideal day feel SO GOOD, you can taste it! Write it down.
Making major progress towards your primary goal will involve investing time, money and mental and emotional energy towards this goal. We obviously only have a finite amount of all of those things. We need to know where our priorities lie so we can plan accordingly and make hard choices if need be.
Step #3: Brainstorm How to Get There
Once you decide on your primary goal…
Write down ideas of all the things that could help you achieve it - let there be bad ideas, crazy ideas, just let it flow!
Narrow it down based on what feels manageable and effective
Commit to following through with those ideas
Allow for flexibility and progress throughout the course of the year - you don’t have to do it all at once!
Step #4: Setting Health & Wellness Goals
Whether you primary goal is in the realm of health and wellness or not, it’s still important to look at this area of our lives.
WHY?
Because your health and wellness impacts all areas of your life! When you aren’t taking care of yourself you may be less focused at work, you may be less confident when it comes to dating, you could be experiencing moodiness which is not ideal when your relationship needs some extra attention.
Health and wellness is an important piece of every ideal life even when it doesn’t feel obvious.
Whether or not heath and wellness is your primary goal take some time to consider how you feel in each of the below areas and brain dump ideas for how you can improve or evolve in these areas…
Diet meaning foods and drinks you consume
Body meaning anything related to your physical body like fitness, beauty products, saunas, massages etc
Mind meaning your thoughts, emotions, even your spirituality
If health and wellness is your primary goal and you want to see major shifts, really go all out in your narrowed down selection of ideas to to help you reach your goals!
If healthy and wellness is secondary and you’re feeling good about your current state, focus on maintenance or updates in your narrowed down selection.
If health & wellness is your secondary but you have room for improvement, then focus on manageable PROGRESS for your narrowed down selection . Do you rarely workout? Commit to 30mins 3x a week (don’t expect to jump to 6x a week). Do you order in every night? Commit to meal prepping on Sundays that lasts through Wednesday then allow yourself ordering in Thursday through Saturday. Don’t have a morning routine that supports your mindset? Commit to carving out 10 minutes for journaling or meditation. Stay up until 4AM scrolling and end up snoozing until 9? Commit to a bedtime and putting the phone down! Start with smaller time commitments at first and you’ll see a shift.
Step #5: Believe in Your Goals
My area of expertise is health and wellness but what I’ve learned about ALL goals is to…
Get REALLY clear on what you want
BELIEVE that it’s as good as done
TAKE aligned action towards that goal
These are the basics of manifestation. Believing before you see is a big part of it! This is also why it’s so important to really step into the energy of your ideal day, feel the feeling and embody it. The more you can bring that energy into your every day the better!
Obviously, goals can be very different. Some goals may be more of a time commitment than others. Some will feel like we have more or less control over them. But clarity, belief and action are key when it comes to intentions and goals.
Step #6: Planning Your Goals Into Your Calendar
The #1 most important thing to consider before you start plugging in any goals or activities is… WHO YOU ARE!!!
Do not create a plan for the idealized version of you that you’ve never been, or the plan that works for your friend or someone you heard on a podcast .
This plan must work FOR YOU!
If you struggle to make it to your 9-5 on time because you snooze until 8:45, waking up at 6AM to workout is likely not going to work for you! If you know by 6pm you’re beat and you’re never going to want to cook dinner don’t plan to cook an elaborate meal each night.
Work within the structure of what makes you you, but amp up the discipline a notch. You’re making a plan for the best version of YOU - not someone else.
So as your experimenting with your calendar and where to plug in your health and wellness it will look different whether its your primary or secondary goal…
Health & Wellness Primary Goal
Add any firm hours you have into your calendar. This means if you have a full time or part time job or other responsibilities that happen at set times. If you work a 9-5 but you’ve often been more 7-7 and growth in that role is not your focus, test cutting back.
Begin plugging in your health and wellness time blocks based on your brain dump selections in any open time slots, but consider the pace of your day to allow for overall productivity. I use these blocks to kick off my day and to break it up when I’m feeling like my brain needs a break from focusing on my business (i.e. an 11AM walk).
Ensure that there is plenty of blocks for REST. True rest where your brain and body can take a break.
Know that this may feel a little scary as it’s preventing you from working longer hours at your 9-5 or giving you less time to work on your business or side hustle, or just less time to chill. That’s why we picked a primary goal! So we know how to prioritize our time.
Give yourself flexibility to experiment and see what works for you, you likely won’t get it exactly right on the first try.
Secondary Goal with Health & Wellness in Maintenance Mode
This means your health and wellness is in a good place and you just want to keep it up while devoting more time to your primary goal.
Add any firm hours you have into your calendar. This means if you have a full time or part time job or other responsibilities that happen at set times. If you work a 9-5 but you’ve often been more 7-7 and growth in that role is not your focus, test cutting back.
Plug in time blocks to spend on your primary goal based on your brain dump selections. What feels like a manageable amount of time to spend on that goal.
Begin plugging in your current health and wellness habits and flag any that are being crowded out by your primary goal.
Determine where you can move the flagged time blocks to. Maybe you can wake up earlier to make time for them. Or you may find that you need to scale back. Be honest about the impact these shifts will have.
Ensure that there is plenty of blocks for REST. True rest where your brain and body can take a break.
Know that this may feel a little scary to make these shifts and difficult choices. That’s why we picked a primary goal! So we know how to prioritize our time.
Give yourself flexibility to experiment and see what works for you, you likely won’t get it exactly right on the first try.
Secondary Goal for Progress with Health & Wellness
This means your health and wellness could use some improvement, so you’re focusing on adding in a manageable amount of progress so you can evolve in this area over the course of the year.
Add any firm hours you have into your calendar. This means if you have a full time or part time job or other responsibilities that happen at set times. If you work a 9-5 but you’ve often been more 7-7 and growth in that role is not your focus, test cutting back.
Plug in time blocks to spend on your primary goal based on your brain dump selections. What feels like a manageable amount of time to spend on that goal.
Review your health & wellness brain dump selections and add into the open spots in your calendar.
Don’t have any open blocks left for health and wellness? Maybe you can wake up earlier to make time for them or re-evaluate time spent on other parts of your day. Keep in mind these positive shifts in health and wellness will ultimately benefit all areas of your life and are worth making time for.
Ensure that there is plenty of blocks for REST. True rest where your brain and body can take a break.
Know that this may feel a little scary to make these shifts and difficult choices. That’s why we picked a primary goal! So we know how to prioritize our time.
Give yourself flexibility to experiment and see what works for you, you likely won’t get it exactly right on the first try.
Some of you may be experiencing resistance to the whole calendar thing. You may be thinking…
This feels overwhelming
I don’t need to put this in my calendar, I’ll remember
This feels too rigid, I’d rather go with the flow and do things when I feel like it
Is that working for you now?
Studies show scheduling something into your calendar makes it 10000x more times likely to happen (jk), but really, waiting for the mood to strike you isn’t a good strategy for creating a habit.
Scheduling it into your calendar is so effective because…
You save mental energy by making all of the decisions up front
You make other plans around it rather than allowing other things to take priority
You get alerts and reminders when things are in your calendar so it holds you accountable
You’re more aware of when you aren’t following through on your plans and can get curious as to what is holding you back from following through
Step #7: Investing Your Money
The other big shift is monetary investment. Depending on your financial situation and how you interpret the value of change, this is different for everyone. For me (at this moment) under $500 is an investment, but not a major investment. This is an amount I could put towards a secondary goal and feel comfortable with the value I would get based on the energy and focus I could devote to it. Anything over that, I would reserve for my primary goal. When you’re investing your money, you’re also investing time and energy and you want that big investment to be worth it, you want go all in.
Step #8: Mental & Emotion Commitment
Finally, there is the emotional and mental commitment. This, is in many ways, is the biggest portion. Many things that were in your brain dump selections may not really require more time or money, they just require commitment.
For example:
Eating more veggies
Drinking more water
Waking up earlier
Reducing alcohol
Choosing to eat the meals you prepped instead of ordering in
Actually following through on the activities you create time block for!
Many of the most significant parts of goals and intentions aren’t really something we can schedule into our calendar. So how can we support ourselves…?
It’s important to get really clear on them - write the down!
Remember your WHY, your dream for next year!
Set reminders to help motivate you throughout the day
Sign up for the Daily Detox Drop-in (at the bottom of this post) for a daily dose of tips, tricks and inspiration to kick your day off right
When we have big goals in many areas of our lives it can feel really daunting and overwhelming to feel SUPER committed to so many BIG changes. It’s a lot for our brain to adjust to and we’re often feeling torn between competing priorities. That’s why we choose one primary goal and have our other goals be a bit more attainable to achieve. They still require commitment because everything does! But all of our goals feel a bit more synchronistic and manageable to work towards at the same time.
We don’t want to be burning out after two weeks and ditching the whole plan! It’s important to embrace the concept of progress over perfection and ditch the all or nothing mindset. Something is always better than nothing! We’re striving for consistency with a new habit, which is more often than not, 51% counts. It won’t all change overnight and that’s ok.
You’ve Got This!
One of my favorite quotes read as follows…
“Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway”
You’ve identified a dream. A dream for A YEAR from now. Don’t let lack of results by February deter you! Transformation takes time and commitment. It’s not about being perfect from the start, or ever. It’s about believing it before you see it and taking that aligned action day after day - the rest will fall into place.
